20 3 / 2012
hard on you
Lo it had been hard on you too. Sometimes i do think you’re acting like a jerk, can’t be bothered about me &all.. Sometimes i chose to believe that if people cared enough, they would make time for you.
I guess i had to understand your part. I’m going to say its okay if you’re not that into me. Not cause you don’t, the fact that is you can’t.
I say you’re selfish for disappearing just like that, out of my life. I’d be selfish too if i insist to hang on, and add on the so many things in your life right?
I will move on, be it now, later or much much later.
It was just a wrong time for us.
02 3 / 2012
Day 3
day 3 of missing you.
Maybe the distancing before that helped, but knowing you’re not here on the same island with me, that scares me a little.
The dream yesterday night felt like a novel, very real. I hope you’re alright there,
you’d be fine right? Cus i’m here waiting.
27 2 / 2012
With how much i dislike, i can’t hate you
because you’re the one i’d take back in a second.
I know one day i’d just delete this away, because people move on and i’ve deleted tons of notes on relationships because they’re just not applicable in your life anymore.
Hey..
Why if you were afraid why did you initiate that? Why did you put me in every aspect of your life already then felt your guts that you couldn’t do this? You put me everywhere, and even in your future plans and thats why it hurts that much. So much sometimes i have to hate you for a minute but realised i can’t.
Sometimes i get afraid of the uncertainties, the distance. When you’re back, have you forgotten about me or you’d miss me? I wonder.
20 2 / 2012
Today it finally triggered me why is it bothering me so much. I realized i had lots of first times with you. You brought me to the waterfront, you brought me to the airbase and we climbed up the plane wing. We always happened to do so much much unexpected, impromptu and risky stuffs and that’s whats fun, and hard to forget.
11 2 / 2012
I don’t want this to end just like that but I don’t know what to do anymore. You told me we’d take one step at a time to figure things out. Now you tell me you can’t be distracted, but you told me the same thing when we first met and we said nothing. I thought we’d pull through this. I knew the period when you will be gone it’d be a mental torture, but i stayed on. I thought we were fighting through this, but today i realized what we had wasn’t worth that much for you to fight along.
